A Cure for Love
by Mina Phantomhive
Summary: A simple re-imagining of the final chapters of "The Death Cure" -spoilers ahead- emphasizing in Thomas' love for Teresa, rediscovered rather too late, and his thoughts on her loss. Despite the fact that it's Thomas x Teresa oriented, I kept it canon, so there is some Thomas x Brenda in the end, differentiated a great deal from the book.
1. She was gone

"Teresa!" Thomas screamed, an unearthly sound that somehow rose above everything else. He scrambled toward her. Blood streaked her face, and her arm looked crushed. He shouted her name again, and in his mind he saw Chuck, falling to the ground, covered in blood, and the madness in Newt's eyes. Three of the closest friends he'd ever had… And WICKED had taken them all away from him.

"I'm so sorry," he whispered to her, knowing she couldn't hear. "I'm so sorry."

Her mouth moved, working to speak, and he leaned in to make out what she was trying to say. "Me … too," she whispered. "I only ever … cared for…"

And then Thomas was being dragged to his feet, yanked away from her. He didn't have the energy or will to fight it. She was gone. His body ached with pain; his heart stung. Brenda and Minho pulled him up, got his feet under him. They lurched forward, pushed ahead. A fire had started burning in a gaping hole left by an explosion—smoke billowed and churned with the thick dust. Thomas coughed but only heard roaring in his ears.

She was gone. His heart now did more than simply sting; it was about to shatter. It was about to shatter at the realization of the simple fact that she was gone before he managed to forgive her. Or actually before he managed to tell her he had forgiven her already; he had forgiven her already and he was loving her still. But how could he have admitted that to her, when he hadn't even admitted it to himself?

Another resounding boom shattered the air; Thomas turned his head as he ran to see the back wall of the storage room exploding, falling to the ground in pieces, flames licking through the open spaces. The remainder of the ceiling above it began to collapse, any support now gone. Every last inch of the building was coming down once and for all.

He was about to collapse himself, about to do anything to stop the pain raging inside. But he kept running, the sound of his heels hitting the ground somehow reaching his ears through all that mayhem, numbing and soothing him inside. Soothing him enough to keep him breathing, as her loss was slowing suffocating him, gripping his lungs from within and refusing to let them go. If suffering was a seed, it had blossomed within his lungs, and the grim flowers were stealing his breath away.

" _I always thought there was going to be more time,"_ his own mind tried to console him. It was true, he did. Despite facing death every single day he remembered, he felt both him and Teresa were untouchable. They were not Gladers, they were more than that. They were, no matter how hard they wished they weren't, members of WICKED. And WICKED was untouchable. Up until then.

He always thought there was going to be more time, and for that, he had no reason to let her get used by them to hurt him again. He loved her, he had always loved her, and they both suffered for that. They suffered for love, as love makes you vulnerable, a priceless Variable and their greatest advantage. He couldn't let them use that advantage again, not when he thought there was going to be more time.

But there was wasn't. And he had pushed her away, hiding his love for her within the darkest corner of his mind, shadowed by his lost memories and the bitter taste of her forced betrayal. A betrayal he had forgiven, but hadn't forgotten, only to make letting her go easier. And it had gotten too easy.

Without him realizing it, they reached the door to the maintenance room, squeezed inside just in time to see Gally disappear through the Flat Trans. Everyone else was already gone.

Thomas stumbled with his friends across the short aisle between the tables. In seconds they'd be dead. The sounds of things crashing and crumbling behind Thomas grew impossibly louder, cracks and creaks and squeals of metal and the hollow roar of flames.

All of it rose to an unimaginable pitch; Thomas refused to look, though he sensed it all coming down, as if it were just feet away, its leading edge breathing against his neck.

He pushed Brenda through the Trans. The world was collapsing around him and Minho.

He thought of Teresa again, her lifeless body trapped under the boulder she had saved him from. Her bright blue eyes open, their fire extinguished. Her raven black hair a tangled mess, all around her face which remained beautiful even in death. He thought of how much he loved her, and how much he had hurt her. Because, no matter how many times he doubted it, she loved him more. So much more it hurt, because he knew he didn't deserve it.

But the thought only lasted a moment. Another delay and he would be joining her, and Newt, and Chuck, in the after-life, if there was any. A tempting concept, but the ultimate waste of their sacrifices. Of her sacrifice. He turned around to face Minho.

Together, they jumped into the icy gray wall.


	2. A new beginning

"Hey, there."

Thomas turned to see Brenda. "Hey, there, back. Wanna sit?"

"Why, yes, thank you." She plopped down next to him. "Reminds me of the sunsets at WICKED, though they never seemed quite so bright."

"You could say that about a lot of things." He felt another tremor of emotion as he saw the faces of Chuck and Newt and Teresa in his mind's eye. Brenda had her way of always reminding him of them, Teresa especially. He had forgiven Brenda for her betrayal the moment it was revealed to him, and Teresa knew. She knew and she had to watch him sparing all his affection and his worry to her, in a rather successful effort to let his childhood friend out of his mind. She betrayed him once, but he betrayed her again and again and again, every time he embraced or kissed Brenda. And he betrayed her one last time when he refused to get his memories back, the one decision he regretted more than any other, even though it saved him from immense pain. He felt guilty of not experiencing it, the same pain she had to go through.

And yet despite all his betrayal and never knowing the reason behind it, she gave her life for him twice, before the Griever and under the boulder, without a second thought.

A few minutes went by in silence as they stared at the vanishing light of day, the sky and water going from orange to pink to purple, then dark blue.

"What're you thinking in that head of yours?" Brenda asked.

"Absolutely nothing. I'm done thinking for a while." He lied. For the first time in his life, he was both free and safe, but a costly accomplishment it had been. Still, the price he had to pay was not Brenda's fault. He did the only thing he could think of. He reached out and took Brenda's hand. She squeezed his in response.

"There are over two hundred of us and we're all immune. It'll be a good start."

Thomas looked over at her, suspicious at how sure she sounded—like she knew something he didn't.

"What's that supposed to mean?" She leaned forward and kissed him on the cheek, then the lips. "Nothing. Nothing at all."

Thomas put it all out of his mind and pulled her closer as the last wink of the sun's light vanished below the horizon. He stared deep within her dark chestnut eyes, unwilling to admit he was comparing them to Teresa's bright blue stare.

"I could love you. Despite all the lies you've told me, I could love you." He whispered.

"But do you?" she whispered a question in return.

"Only if you think you can love two people in the same time. One living, one dead." He had always been honest with her, and he was going to keep it up. If had been that honest to Teresa he wouldn't be carrying the burden of hurting her that much and never having the chance to make amends.

"We've lost too many people. I think you can." She said as she let him go. "You can and you will, but in a different way. And it's too soon for that. Too soon for both of us." She took a deep breath. "I still have to muster the strength to tell you the truth. My truth."

"Fair enough." He smiled, never letting go of her hand.

They both needed time to grow accustomed to their new beginning.

But that only meant they had indeed begun anew.


End file.
